Hey, Lookee What We Found!

June 14, 2010 at 10:26 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Will you just look at that? Good fortune smiles once again on the U.S. of A. After spending a trillion dollars ($1,000,000,000,000), slaughtering over a million (1,000,000) enemy combatants & bystanders, and sacrificing over sixty-five hundred (6,500) occupation force troops so-far in our endless War on Terror, it turns out that Afghanistan has rich mineral deposits that should be worth one trillion to three trillion dollars ($1,000,000,000,000 – $3,000,000,000,000). And that is in addition to the oil we didn’t go in there for in the first place.

By Jupiter’s long, white beard! I should have know better than to doubt the good business-sense of our Capitalists. Their noses root-out money like Scout Hogs find truffles. When I stood in front of the local Federal Building almost 9 years ago with my “NO BLOOD FOR OIL!” sign, I had no idea the Afghans also had an immense treasure trove of iron, cobalt, copper, gold, and lithium. Senior American officials say the untapped deposits are “far beyond any previously known reserves.” America will never run-out of batteries. This changes everything!

Of course, the knee-jerk reaction of the hate-America crowd will be to say that our upper echelon knew of, or at least suspected, the presence of this highly desirable hoard. But this is utter nonsense and it is insulting! Our government and the companies that own it are scrupulously honest and above board. As the late, great Richard Nixon was fond of saying: “Let me be perfectly clear” about this: Our fat-cats absolutely did not allow the September 11th attacks to take place as a pretext to get us into war. They never set up our former ally, the CIA asset known as “Osama Bin Ladin,” as a straw-man in order to invade and occupy Afghanistan. They did not do these things so as to remove Afghanistan’s Taliban government, which had opposed a tremendously profitable oil pipeline that would carry crude from Eurasia, across Afghanistan, to Pakistan.

Since our masters did none of those devious things. Why would we doubt them about these suddenly discovered vast repositories of minerals? No, I feel we can rest-assured that they bumbled us into, and kept us in, this ridiculous costly & tragic war with no thought of long-term monetary gain for the elite. America’s corporations would have been happy to simply have the hundreds of billions of dollars they stole through war-profiteering. But then…this…unexpected gift just falls into their laps! CEO’s must be weeping for joy & falling on their knees to thank Beelzebub.

Well, now that we know our newly democratic friends have all this wealth, I think we can all agree that any plans to ever leave their country must be shelved. Will we annex Afghanistan as the 51st U.S. state or merely view it as a perpetual protectorate where we, of course, permanently station our troops? Either way, we can look at history to provide a clue as to how the U.S. will treat a population that gets in the way of exploiting natural resources. Just ask the Native Americans about that.

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